The Long Goodbye

(adapted from the eulogy I gave for my Dad on October 19, 2024 at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church in Evanston, IL)

The Hideaway Alone deep in the forest, a young boy maybe nine or ten, unaware of our presence, greets a frog swimming in a pool beside a boulder. He watches captivated as it makes concentric circles in the water, while all around him dappled sunlight coming through the canopy transforms plants, stones and butterflies into colored jewels as it lands upon them.  

(This scene is from a painting Dad made in 2015, based I imagine on the kind of place he always talked about - an ideal vision of solitude and wonder and a place he always hoped to return to.)

As long as I can remember, Dad loved a walk in the woods. Any bit of forest with a little wild nature would do. Here in Evanston, there wasn’t much, so on Sunday afternoons Tim, Mom, Dad and I would load into the red and white family Land Cruiser to go to Harms Woods just off of Golf Rd. in Morton Grove. We’d park in the lot, open up the hatchback and have a quick snack before getting onto the narrow trail that would lead us into the forest. Dad’s pace was always slow and deliberate, so deliberate. He’d often pause to point out a flower or rock that caught his eye or cup his ear and shush us as he tried to identify a bird only he could hear.  For Tim and I, the hike through the woods was just a way to get to the water (a small canal like branch of the Chicago River) which we imagined was full of frogs, turtles and giant yet uncaught fish.

I discovered more about the source of Dad’s love of wild places a few years ago, when I recorded a long conversation with him, much of which centered on his growing up north of here in Highland Park. In our conversation, he recalled many solitary afternoons exploring the undeveloped wilds around his house, and how being sent to a “Farm School” after an accident that left him with a serious head injury was fortuitous, in a way, as it immersed him in the outdoors while other kids his age were at “inside” school all day.

Back at Harms Woods, Dad wasn’t a birder, hunter, collector or a fisherman. And as he told Tim and I, upon becoming a parent he gave up the mountain climbing of his youth where summitting was the goal. His relationship to nature had evolved, he had become an observant and patient wanderer attuned to each step without counting them and eager to share his love of wild places with his sons.

His appreciation of slowing down and of noticing the beauty and wonder all around us was I think the greatest gift Dad shared with my brother Tim and me, (and one we’ve shared with our sons Jake, Luke and Andrés.) It manifest as we grew older into camping and canoeing adventures culminating at a pristine little lake near the Canadian border called Fenske. I was tasked back then with finding a campgound for our trips from a Triple AAA guidebook and I remember choosing Fenske because it had the fewest campsites, no RV hook-ups and pit toilets, which in my calculation meant it would be a place where only true lovers of the woods and lakes would go. Although it was remote and I’m sure Mom would have chosen a spot with a few more amenities, I was right and we ended up camping there three times as a family followed by trips with friends and an epic adventure with Tim.

The Coast A frothy wave of ocean crashes over a rough, rocky shore, maybe in Maine. The wave is all white boiling foam with just a few patches of blue water. The horizon is mostly obscured by mist and only discernible through a ragged edge of sunlight. Within this swirling of tidal forces a lone seagull hovers, perfectly poised above the tumult, while below a fragile patch of red wildflowers holds onto rock about to be submerged.

In the late 1990’s about the time Dad was contemplating (begrudgingly) a transition from WTTW (the PBS television station in Chicago), he began to paint. He started with watercolors, making studies of flowers and forest paths. I remember him being serious and committed to learning the proper technique, often referring to books he’d checked out from the library for tips. It seemed heavy, burdened by the need to paint correctly, but after a 40-year career devoted to collaboration where his art was always in the service of a director’s vision, he was finally getting to express himself without compromise.

Dad continued to paint in his basement studio in Evanston and gradually his work took on new life, as he began infusing his paintings with characters and little bits of narrative. No longer was his work just about technique, now he was making stories. At first the characters in his paintings were animals: a bird, a cat or a dog were added usually in the middle-foreground, like the figures he would insert into a set design model to show scale. In one watercolor, a cat with its tail at attention wanders up a country road toward the crest of a hill to greet, we assume, something or someone approaching; while in another, a floppy eared hound, at a small-town intersection, gestures toward us as if to say, “Look…”

Gradually, as he gained confidence he told me, the anthropocentrism of his animal characters gave way, and the figures became people - most often boys of the age he was when growing up in Highland Park. When I saw these new works, I felt instantly that they were self-portraits. These paintings were like sets for the stories of his youth and the dreams he’d known. Unencumbered by the requirements of producing someone else’s tv show, he was now the writer, director and set designer of his own vision.

The Long Goodbye Under a cold blue sky, a yellow school bus speeds away from us down a snow-covered country road. In the foreground, a row of rural mailboxes and a pet German shepherd stand in the place where the bus has just picked up its student passenger. Left behind amidst footprints in the slushy snow and a dropped mitten, a boy’s best friend watches, hoping for a safe journey and looking forward to his return.

Tiempo de la Tierra - the Zine

Here it is, the chance to add your own colors to the Tiempo de la Tierra mural! Feel free to print these at home or pick up a few at Cottin’s Hardware Store, 1832 Massachusetts St.

Iⁿ‘zhúje‘waxóbe / Sacred Red Rock - Activity Guide

As a part of the community engagement efforts for the Iⁿ‘zhúje‘waxóbe / Sacred Red Rock Project, I designed this activity guide for folks to use as a way of exploring the history, geology and future of the Sacred Red Rock and what we now call Robinson Park. You can download and print your own here, or pick up a hard copy at Tommaney Library at Haskell Indian Nations University, Lawrence Public Library, Spencer Museum, Watkins Museum or City Hall. And, it’s not just for kids, I wrote and illustrated it for a wide audience. See for yourself :)

The Lawrence Community Garden Project

(In 1991, there were no community gardens in Lawrence. Today, there are more than twenty. This is the story of how one of the first got its start.)

In January 1991, I moved to Lawrence to attend grad school a few months after finishing a farm apprenticeship in upstate New York. Farming had been a detour from my art education and possibly a new path. Up until then, I had been making dark and foreboding paintings and prints of small towns and their adjacent rural landscapes in Iowa and Indiana where I’d been in school. But in the spring of 1990, I had a realization that for all my concern about the Farm Crisis, and heartfelt depictions of places being gutted by it, I really didn’t know much about agriculture, big or small. So, with no job lined up and no commitments, I made a phone call (pre-internet). I found the number in a book at Platypus Bookshop in Evanston, IL while visiting home that complied descriptions and contacts for a host of “alternative jobs,” things like working on a fishing boat, teaching English in a foreign county, and farming.

Rose Valley Farm

The number was for Rose Valley, an organic farm and home of the New York Garlic Seed Foundation just south of Lake Ontario near Rochester. After a ten-minute chat with farmers Liz Henderson and Dave Stern, where they mostly asked about my capacity for hard physical labor and my politics, I got the job and soon packed up my Corolla to head east for the summer. My time at Rose Valley opened me up to a new world. The hard physical labor. The belief that Dave and Liz held about making sure their prices were accessible to working class people.  And the directness of it all – how there was no second guessing about whether not the work we were doing was good or useful. I learned that it was a Sisyphean task to keep the farm going year to year as big growers were starting to go organic, and grocery chains like Wegmans were starting to offer corporate organics alongside that of local farmers.

When I arrived in Lawrence a few months later to pursue an MFA in Painting at KU, I was more focused on continuing my Ag education than art, and immediately sought out a farm job. At the local co-op across the street from my apartment on 7th St., I saw the contact for Wakarusa Valley Farm run by Mark Lumpe. I called him and soon I was picking rocks from the fields, planting salad mix, and helping Mark put plastic over the frame of his new greenhouse.

Sign I made for Wakarusa Valley Farm

I worked with Mark for a few months before I asked about leasing an acre to try my own thing. We had talked about starting a little CSA like the one at Rose Valley, where people came to the farm to work for an hour or two a month in exchange for produce. He liked the idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t going to work.  I would have to commute to and from the farm while trying to finish grad school and keep my other job at the Lawrence Lithography Workshop.

In the early 1990’s, WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) programs were getting popular, and urban farming was just beginning to blossom again, 50 years after the “Victory Gardens” of WWII. The time felt right and I thought If I couldn’t start a CSA at Mark’s I still wanted to do something that combined my interest in farming with a vison of collaboration and community. It was that desire that led me to community gardens. A visit to the library gave my interest a direction and a template. I found a book about the Boston Urban Gardeners (BUG) which outlined the step-by-step process to organizing and establishing a neighborhood community garden. Voila!

I shared my idea and the BUG book with a few like-minded friends who got on board right away. We put up posters around town announcing our first meeting and began to look for a suitable site for the garden. After talking with folks at the City, we found a spot that seemed perfect, a half-acre below the Kansas River bridge in an unused part of Constant Park. We worked out the logistics with the City and got liability insurance, and in the Spring of 1993 received permission to begin our garden. And then… as many will recall, there was a flood. If you’ve ever walked the river levee, you may have seen a small sign among the rocks that marks the high-water mark from that summer. Needless to say, Constant Park went from the perfect spot for our garden to being six feet under water. We’d have to find another site. In the meantime, our group began the process of getting non-profit status in the hopes that having it would give us some legitimacy and a few more fundraising options.

Me as the Co-op produce manager in 1993

Our fallback after the flood was a grassy lot adjacent to the new home of the Community Mercantile Co-op at 9th & Mississippi. I had just started working there in the produce department and discovered that the lot was being maintained by the Co-op since both properties had the same owner.  We presented our community garden vision to the Co-op board of directors. They resisted initially, worried they would lose the few bucks they were making off of parking during KU football games.

While we waited to get our approval, a couple of us were able to grow a test plot on the space, mostly greens, basil and tomatoes, and got the soil tested. And we explored possibilities for the garden layout and began designing the garden handbook. The layout of the garden was straightforward with individual plots, common areas, a gathering place and a tool shed (later we built a greenhouse).  We didn’t need much in the way of money, but we were able to get a CDBG grant through the City which covered our liability insurance, a few tools and supplies to build a fence. The Co-op provided water via a very long hose.

When we were finally ready, we had a local farmer haul his little tractor over and begin to break up the compressed soil. Then we trucked in about 25 loads of composted manure from the horse stables that used to be where the 6th Street Wal-Mart is now. And then we planted. We had families, single folks and students all gardening together. We gave workshops and partnered with arts groups, and then in our second year we began our harvest festival. We closed off the alley and had live music (Al Trout and the Hokum Washboard Band), a chili eating contest, egg toss, food made from the garden and craft booths. It was a blast!

We also started selling produce to the Co-op, an arrangement inspired by the new (at the time) garden/market in Kansas City called the Blue Bird. We even had an occasional booth at farmers market to sell produce and share information about the LCGP. The garden thrived. I helped coordinate it for about ten years (until my schedule as a muralist kept me out of town too much) and I continued to have a plot there until 2017.

The LCGP’s 30th anniversary will be next year. It became more than we could have ever imagined. Not just a place to grow food, but also an improvised gathering space where people from different walks of life met, worked together and made friends. Thanks to all the folks who continue to care for this little gem. It’s heartwarming to see that its spirit continues.

The LCGP garden in 2003

Save Our Schools

(Special thanks to Lindsey Yankey for sharing her schoolhouse image for this poster)

Lawrence's chapter in the new Routledge Handbook of Placemaking

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Folks here in Lawrence probably remember the heated debate about East 9th Street and the Arts Center led project that aimed to transform it into an “arts corridor” under the banner, Free State Boulevard.  My personal account of that project is now a chapter in the just published, Routledge Handbook of Placemaking.

My involvement began last spring when I was invited by one of the book’s editors, Tom Borrup (Tom had been to Lawrence in the midst of the E. 9th project as a Cultural Planner hired by the City), to share my story for this remarkable new study which looks at the concept and practice of placemaking from an international perspective. Having endured the years-long struggle, first as a critic and later as one who helped shape the project that was implemented, I took the challenge. You can read my essay here. Below in an excerpt.

Adjacent to present-day downtown, East Lawrence gradually slopes down to the railroad and old factories that run along the Kansas River. It’s still full of small single-family homes and backyard gardens. It’s where Langston Hughes went to church as young boy, where Civil Rights marches began and ended and more recently where a massive creative placemaking project funded by ArtPlace was proposed to revitalize us. That project, known as Free State Boulevard is the subject of this essay. As a first-hand witness, I was a participant in fighting the project and in the end one of the people who reimagined it as a more just and equitable endeavor.

On Thursday, June 17th, 2021  contributors to the book responded to provocations and questions from, self-proclaimed interloper, Roberto Bedoya. Watch the video here - Practices of Placemaking: affect, antagonism, attachment

Artists Respond at the Spencer Museum

Back in July, I was invited by the Spencer Museum of Art to share how (and what) I was doing during the pandemic. I was one of a group of artists from near and far who reflected on the current moment in whatever way they chose. You can see what all of the artists shared here in this on-line exhibition. My submission is also included below.

I’m feeling my sense of time collapse. The self-imposed isolation of my youth met with the mandated isolation of now. The uncertainty of my 20’s when I didn’t know if I’d ever make a living as an artist met with the renewed uncertainty if I ever will again. The stories and discoveries of my childhood gloriously revisited with my three-year old son.

I’m waiting for Pandemic Unemployment Assistance.

I’m looking for the visible signs of an invisible force. Like the energy we can detect being gobbled up around a collapsed star, I am searching for evidence along the periphery.

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I’m wondering how my mom is, since I haven’t been able to visit her in four months.

I’m making adjustments, additions, subtractions, enhancements and tributes to mark the time and hopefully bring some joy and interest to passersby.

I’m reading a book about forgetting by Lewis Hyde

I’m trying to forget.

I’m hoping that we have the courage and will to make things better.

I’m working on Between the Rock and a Hard Place, a mural on an old movie theater in Nebraska and an essay about the East 9th St. ArtPlace Project for a new book about creative placemaking.

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I’m cutting my own hair.

 I’m growing lots of vegetables and flowers.

And, I’m grateful for my friends and family, for the opportunity to continue making art and for the many brave healthcare and other essential workers carrying us upon their shoulders.

 

Dave Loewenstein

July 6, 2020